Narrator
by SeshatHawk
Summary: Kitty Pryde tries to be normal, and auditions for a play.


Disclaimer: All characters except for Peter Keane and Darlene belong to Marvel; the latter two belong to me. I don't know who wrote _Camelot_, but it wasn't me. Parts of the play are based off of/taken from a play I was in that my friend and I wrote, based off of _Camelot_. I'm writing this for entertainment purposes only and will make no profit.

Narrator

Kitty Pryde scooped up the last of her vanilla ice cream and slid it into her mouth. Around her, people bustled past, hurrying to get to wherever they were going. Kitty sighed and swirled the melted remains of her ice cream around in the disposable bowl. _What a normal thing to do_, she thought dejectedly. _To run somewhere where you're needed. To have things to do._

_If only I could be that normal._

Lately, Kitty had been obsessed with the concept of normal. She couldn't explain it, she didn't even understand it herself. She thought that she had long ago accepted that she was _not _normal, not in the least bit. But as of late, that seemed so depressing. She could never have a normal life. Even if she tried to have one, the X-Men would suck her back in, unintentionally of course, but still, she would get tied up with them again. Kitty wanted more than anything to be accepted like everyone else. She had always been defined as an X-Man, a member of Excalibur, a mutant girl. Now she just wanted to be recognized as Kitty Pryde.

No one else seemed to understand this. "Don't you ever feel the need to just...be normal?" Kitty had asked a few days ago.

"Normal is relative, kitten," Ororo had answered. They had been chatting over a light lunch.

"Like everyone else, then," Kitty had said. "Just doing everything the same way, in a routine, accepted by everyone else?"

"I have never felt that way," Peter had said, shaking his head. "Katya, 'everyone else' is wary of us. You would hold no harm to them, your power to be intangible. Yet they would fear you anyway. I have no desire to be that way. I am proud of the person I am today, whether mutant or human."

He made it sound as though she was not proud of herself, which was not true. "But neither of you has never, ever, wanted to walk down the street and not worry about whether someone will realize you're a mutant? To have people smile at you and think you're normal?"

"We are not normal," Ororo had said. "I have never wished to be less than what I am. Sometimes I have wished for my old life in Kenya, but I am happy with the life I have chosen."

They didn't understand. Other kids Kitty's age could go to parties, stay out late and get drunk, without having to worry about saving the world the next day. Even if Kitty did manage to go to a party and stay out late, no doubt once she came home, there would be a horde of worried mutants waiting for her at the door, demanding to know where she had been. It wasn't fair--other kids her age were finally breaking free of the chains of their parents, their lives, and Kitty had broken free of her parents--only to be pulled into the arms of a family that seemed to be all parents.

So Kitty had decided to do something normal today. She had thrown on jeans and a T-shirt and gone into Salem Center, to pretend, just for one day, that she was a college student with a day off, like anyone else. She had stopped at United Dairy Farmers for some ice cream, but so far she hadn't been able to shake her depression. Staring out the window as the passers-by, it only made her think about how she could never _be _normal. All she could do was pretend.

Kitty emerged from UDF and wandered into the heart of Salem Center, small though it was. She took in every painful detail of the small town's life: a group of children playing hopscotch, a couple of teenage girls chatting together, a couple holding hands. It was so easy to them, to just be who they were. For the first time in Kitty's life, she found it difficult to be herself.

She paused in front of a pale brick building. The sign over the door read, "Salem Center Community Center." Kitty smiled slightly; the sign seemed redundant to her. She pushed open the glass door and went inside. There were a large amount of classes offered there--pottery, painting, self-esteem. Normal things. Maybe she could sign up for one.

Kitty approached the man behind a desk just inside the door, and he looked up as she came close. "You're here to audition, aren't you?" he asked, and got out a clipboard. "Just like all those other kids who came through here."

Kitty glanced around at the deserted lobby. "Audition for what?"

The man raised his eyebrows. "The play. It was written by Mr. Keane. It's a non-musical version of _Camelot_. All the college kids wanna sign up. The audition's today, if you still want to." He offered her the clipboard.

Kitty had never tried acting before--at least, not when she wasn't in a dire situation, in hopes of distracting the villain. "Yes, I do," she said, and took the clipboard from the man. She wrote her name on one of the lines, and under the heading, "Class or activity," she wrote _Camelot_, as she saw some other people had. It was a good thing to be trying out for. She knew the story well, thanks to Kurt. It was impossible to have a legend-and-adventure-loving friend and not know the basic storyline of the greatest legend of all time. Kitty handed the clipboard back to the man.

"Go down the hall," the man directed, pointing. "Turn left, and it's the double doors on your right."

Kitty thanked him, and followed his directions. Behind the double doors was a medium-sized auditorium. People were milling around everywhere, ranging in age from sixteen to eighty. Most of the people there were about her age, though--college kids. She walked slowly and uncertainly down the aisle, not sure what she was supposed to be doing.

A handsome, brown-haired young man came up to her, smiling. "You look like you're lost," he said to her.

"Is this where the audition for _Camelot_ is?" Kitty asked him.

"It is," he answered, nodding. "Who are you going to try out for?"

"Uh..." Kitty hadn't really given that much thought. She wracked her brain for the names of the characters in Arthurian legend, and finally said, "Morgan le Fay."

The man whipped out a clipboard, and scribbled something down on it. "What's your name?" he asked.

"Kitty Pryde," she told him, and smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad...she hadn't had a boyfriend in ages. Ever since she had broken up with Pete Wisdom, her life had gotten so hectic she hadn't really had time for romance. And she especially didn't want to get tangled up in another team relationship. That would only end in heartbreak, unless your last name was Summers. It seemed as though Scott and Jean had been together forever...

Kitty dragged her mind back to the present, and the good-looking man standing in front of her, writing on his clipboard. Maybe she could get involved with him--just a little--like a normal person would. "What's your name?" she asked, flashing him another smile.

"Oh, sorry." He held out his hand, and she shook it. "I'm Peter."

Peter. Why Peter?

"Is something wrong?"

Kitty knew that her smile had faltered. She couldn't help it. How did she always manage to get romantically involved with Peters? First there was Peter Rasputin, and then there was Pete Wisdom, and now this man. It seemed like some devious plot resting on her romantic lifeline. "No, nothing," she said quickly, letting go of his hand. "Um, I am a little lost. Maybe you could help me out, Peter."

"Of course," he said, returning her smile. "Women who are trying for the part of Morgan are collecting over there." He pointed across the room, to a corner filled with ambitious young women. "Darlene will give you a script to read from."

Kitty went over to the corner and located the woman named Darlene easily--she was wearing a nametag. Kitty scanned over the highlighted lines carefully. True, she had never tried acting before, but she thought she could pull this off. If she could lie to a supervillian about the whereabouts of her teammates when she was on the brink of death, surely she could pretend to be the magical, scheming half-sister of King Arthur, the woman who eventually brought destruction to Camelot.

The rest of the audition went by in a blur. Kitty read her lines to Peter, while Darlene and a few other people looked on. She was told to come back the next day at noon. Kitty paused in the back of the auditorium to adjust her jacket, and Peter caught up to her. "Kitty, wait!" he called.

"What?" she asked, turning. Then she saw the nametag slapped on the breast of his navy blue polo shirt: Peter Keane. "You wrote the play?" she asked in disbelief.

He looked a little embarrassed. "Yeah," he answered. "The community center'll let just about anyone perform anything. I'm the director, too. I thought you would have figured that out, Kitty."

"No," she said slowly.

Peter smiled. "We can still be friends," he told her. Darlene called his name from the front of the auditorium. "I'll see you tomorrow, all right?" he called over his shoulder as he ran off, waving.

Kitty left the community center, slightly shocked. This man was hardly older than she was, and he was writing and directing public plays! Was that a normal thing to do? she wondered. If someone was in college, pursuing acting and directing, it would make sense for them to put on plays, and at the community center was even better.

As she came back into the mansion, about ten minutes later, she was found out by Ororo and Kurt. "Where have you been, Kitty?" Ororo asked.

Kitty shrugged as she pulled off her jacket. "I felt like taking a walk."

"You didn't tell anyone," Kurt scolded, mostly teasing, but Kitty got irritated anyway.

"I'm an adult," she snapped. "Don't I have the right to go on a walk when I feel like it?" She loved Kurt; he had been part of the team ever since she had joined, and he had been part of Excalibur as long as she was there. He was like her brother, but sometimes, he--any of the X-Men--could treat her like such a child! "I just wanted to stroll around town for a while, that's all," she said in a calmer voice.

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "There's no need to get angry, Katzen," he said.

"We were only concerned," Ororo added.

_If this is what your concern is, maybe I don't want it,_ Kitty thought as she pushed past them and went up to her room.

-------------------------------------

The next day she came storming home, and threw her jacket across a chair. "Narrator!" she fumed. "I can't believe I'm the narrator!"

Betsy had entered the room just moments before. Holding a plate filled with food, she must have been heading for the T.V. room, where Kitty could hear the T.V. blaring. "What's the matter, Kitty?" she asked, curious.

"Nothing," Kitty said quickly. For some reason, she didn't want to tell anyone about how she was getting involved in normal life outside of the mansion. No doubt they would all scold her about being careful not to reveal her identity. Kitty knew all of that; she wasn't stupid. "What's up?"

Betsy grinned. "We're having a, as Bobby so gracefully put it, 'chick flick marathon.' Want to join?"

"No thanks," Kitty said, and raked hair away from her face. "I've got stuff to do."

Betsy raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? We're watching _City of Angels_. And we've got triple chocolate fudge ice cream."

"Thanks anyway," Kitty said, and went up the stairs.

Betsy frowned after her. _That's odd,_ she thought. _Doesn't Kitty usually phase through the ceiling..?_ She shrugged, and went into the T.V. room. "What'd I miss?" she asked her fellow female mutants.

Upstairs, in the privacy of her room, Kitty drew her script out of her pocket. The first page announced who was playing who--and she was playing the narrator. Of all of the low, boring, unimaginative parts, Kitty had to get stuck with that one! A very gothic-looking and dramatic girl by the name of Emily had won the part of Morgan le Fey. She wore too much eye makeup and her clothes were all black. Kitty scowled. _The narrator!_ she silently fumed. Plays didn't even need narrators...

The one bit of sunshine in her day had been getting to be relatively good friends with Peter Keane. He was very nice, even though he had cast her as the narrator. Emily was the best there was at playing dramatic parts like Morgan, he had explained to Kitty. And Kitty had smiled and swallowed his explanation, but as soon as she was out of the community center, a black cloud covered her head. She had stomped the whole way home, silently fuming.

But she wanted to do something normal so very badly--and this was her chance to do it. For once she was breaking away from the X-Men; she was doing something on her own and making friends. The rehearsals covered a space of three weeks; Peter had made it very clear that they had to really rush to get everything perfect for the performance.

Kitty sighed and started to read over her script. She had to have her lines memorized in two weeks, and who knew what kind of mayhem might wash over the X-Men soon?

------------------------------------------

Kitty knew, at two and a half weeks, that she was getting sucked into normal life. Most of her castmates were her age, and they attended a nearby college. They were very nice; they invited her out for coffee multiple times. Once they all sat around a table and talked until nearly two a.m. It had been so wonderful. Kitty was finally getting everything that she was missing out on by being an X-Man. She tried to act as though she couldn't become intangible if she wanted to. She wasn't a mutant. She was normal.

"Hey, Kitty," Peter called from the stage. "Come and read your line."

Kitty slowly rose to her feet. She was having the time of her life, but she was beginning to wonder why Peter had even cast her in the play at all. She just could not act. She could not project her emotions through her voice or her face. She could not stand up there and talk about boring, fill-in-the-gap events and pretend to care about them. All Kitty cared about was coming off as normal.

Kitty went to her place on stage, and started to recite her lines. She was startled into silence when Peter clapped his hands sharply and shouted, "Kitty! You're boring me! Come on!"

She went on, but to no avail. Darlene, who was Peter's assistant, sighed from the front row. "Ms. Pryde, are you going to put some effort into this?" she asked with a yawn.

Kitty sighed and turned to look at Peter. He shrugged, and made a motion at her, meaning that she should continue. He looked disappointed. She liked him, but it was so hard to see past the director and to the man who was her friend. She started to recite her lines from where she had stopped, but Peter interrupted her. "Kitty, what's the problem here?"

Kitty shrugged. She didn't see any problem with the way she was reading the lines.

"I know you can do better," Peter said encouragingly. "Start over."

Kitty started over, and Darlene stood up in the first row. "Ms. Pryde!" she exclaimed. "Look at me, I'm bored. Excite me!" Kitty tried harder, but Darlene just sighed and waved her arms. "If this town weren't short a few actors, we would replace you!" she exclaimed, and sank back down to her seat. "Try again!"

Kitty turned to Peter, who nodded. "Please try harder, Kitty."

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine herself as a storyteller, telling the audience of a king by the name of Arthur, and his grand city called Camelot. She started again, and stopped short when Peter took her hands. "Kitty," he sighed. "What is the problem here?"

"I'm trying my hardest," Kitty protested.

"Try harder!" he urged.

"I can't try any harder, because I'm trying my hardest," she said, feeling a little hurt. Why was it that she could battle any evil mutant on the planet, but when it came to expressing feelings she didn't feel--to acting--she could just not pull it off? "Peter, I--"

"Don't apologize," he interrupted. "Just do it right this time."

She must not have done what he asked, for he sighed and rubbed his face. When she was finished, he said, "Kitty, come here and let me talk to you for a minute. Darlene, run the show for a bit, would you?"

Darlene called her agreement, and Peter drew Kitty to one side of the stage. "What's wrong?" he asked her.

"Nothing's wrong," Kitty said. "I'm just reading the lines."

"That's my point," he said. "You're just reading the lines. You're not acting. You're being Kitty, who's apparently bored with reading her lines."

Kitty didn't know what to tell him. How could she explain the dilemma she felt?

"Just pretend you're a storyteller," Peter said. "You have to get into the part. I know you can to better than this. You had a little fire at the audition."

That had been because Kitty was auditioning for Morgan, who was a more concrete part than the narrator. It would be easy to get into the part if she actually _had _a part. "I don't know if I can do this," she said, rubbing her arm.

"Look," Peter said at last. "Here's what I want you to do. Go home, and stand in front of a mirror. Say, 'My name is Kitty Pryde,' and then I want you to tell yourself your own story. When you're done with that, I want you to recite your lines to yourself just as though you were telling the story of King Arthur. The greatest king of all time, Kitty. Will you do that for me?"

"Sure," Kitty answered, with more vigor than she felt.

-------------------------------------

That evening, while her friends and fellow X-Men were either bowling or playing Monopoly, Kitty stood in her room. She faced the full-length mirror on her closet door. She spent some time studying herself first. She analyzed what she saw: an eighteen-year-old girl. Curly light brown hair. Brown eyes. A depressed face. Brown eyes angry at what she couldn't do. Blue jeans that she had washed just yesterday. A blue-and-white tie-dyed T-shirt. White socks. She appeared to be perfectly normal. If she could fool everyone into thinking that, then certainly she could fool them into thinking that she was a storyteller.

Kitty sighed and stared at her reflection. "My name is Kitty Pryde, and I'm a mutant," she said. It only added to her depression. "I'm Kitty Pryde, and I'm a normal, average, everyday person. I go to college and study and stay out late just like any other person my age would." What normal things could she stick in there? "I grew up in Illinois. I'm Jewish. I'm boring." She scowled at her reflection. It wasn't working; she was boring even herself.

Kitty was determined to get this right. "My name is Katherine Pryde. My great-aunt Chava died in Auschwitz. I major in physics and computer science. I..."

She trailed off as someone knocked on the door. "Kitty? Can I come in?"

It was Kurt. "What is it?" she asked, turning away from the mirror.

The door opened, and he stuck his blue head in. "Who are you talking to, Katzen?"

"I wasn't talking. What do you want?"

Kurt came all the way into the room, and shrugged. "Hank won at Monopoly. Want to come swimming down at the pond while it's still light outside?"

"Um...I don't know."

Kurt raised his eyebrows, looking a little hurt. "You don't want to?"

"I want to, I'm just busy right now," Kitty said.

Kurt turned and left the room. "Fine," he said softly.

_Maybe later,_ Kitty thought, and turned back to the mirror. She had to get this right! "My name is Kitty Pryde, and I--I--I'm eighteen years old. I like computers. I used to have a dragon named Lockheed..." No! That wasn't normal! "I travel a lot." To the Shi'ar planets and other dimensions. "My ex-boyfriend is Russian." And a mutant. "His little sister was my best friend. My best friend is dead."

Kitty felt a pang of pain as she said this last line. She still missed Illyana, with all of her heart. But she had moved on since then. Then she sighed, and said to the mirror, "My name is Kitty Pryde, and I walk through walls." She smiled at how strange it sounded. "I'm Shadowcat. My ex-boyfriend could give the Tin Man a run for his money and my best friend was a demon sorceress." She grinned at herself. "I'm an X-Man. X-Men save the world. We're the best there is at what we do. I've crossed paths with demons, evil mutants, and just plain bad guys, and I'm still here." She sighed. "So why can't I make it sound right? My life is exciting. Why doesn't it sound that way when it comes out of my mouth?"

Kitty started over again. "I am an eighteen-year-old girl who loves computers. I've battled Norse gods, demons, mutants, presidents, you name it. I've been to other dimensions, other galaxies, and below New York City. My best friends are mutants. I'm a mutant. I walk through walls. I live in a mansion with my closest friends in the world. It's a mutant school. I would--love...to be normal. Just once." She stared herself in the eyes. "I'm Shadowcat. I'm Kitty Pryde." Even as she said those words, she wondered if she really even knew who she was. "I was once almost married to a Morlock. My friend Logan almost got married to a Japanese woman named Mariko, but she said he didn't have honor, so she stopped the wedding. I was the bridesmaid.

"I joined the X-Men in 1980. Just before Jean's 'death.' I was so young...I was thirteen and a half when I joined. My first love was Piotr Rasputin. He's a mutant too, and he can turn himself into metal. He broke my heart over an alien woman." Kitty sighed. "Now that's exciting," she said sarcastically. "No matter how to try to change things, in the end, everything's just one big soap opera. That's us. All My Mutants. Days of Mutant Lives."

Kitty sighed and shook her head. "Peter, if you knew just how exciting my life really is, you'd probably run from the room." Then she began to recite her lines to the best of her ability.

--------------------------------------

It was opening night. Kitty lingered backstage with her friends, wearing a Renaissance-style dress covered with light green embroidery. "I'm so nervous," she confided to Peter. "What if I forget my lines?"

"You won't," Peter assured, her and ran off to attend to someone else's needs. Kitty sighed and turned back to talk to her friends in hushed tones.

Finally, it was time for her to go on stage. Kitty stepped onto the stage, and heard silence spread over the audience. Fear twinged in her heart, but she bravely went up to the edge of the stage. "Once upon a time," she began, slowly, "there was a king who ruled over Britain. This king was called Uther Pendragon. When he died, he left behind no children to rule in his stead. To determine who would rule Britain, knights came from afar to try to pull a sword out of an anvil on a stone, set in a cemetery. But it was to no avail, for the only man who could pull the sword from the stone was the true and rightful king. All..."

Kitty felt her voice die in her throat as she scanned the audience. Her eyes landed on a dark-haired Russian man and a suspicioius-looking clump of jackets and hats. None other than Peter Rasputin and Kurt Wagner. What were they doing here? What had possessed Kurt to come out of the house? Bundled up though he was, what if his hat slipped?

Kitty found her voice and went on, reciting her lines to the end. Then she slipped offstage, and watched her two friends watch the performance. In the safety of backstage, she wondered if they had even recognized her, using a British accent she had picked up from being in Excalibur, and wearing such an elaborate dress. Not only that, but her face was covered with makeup and usually she didn't wear any.

Three more times, Kitty went out on stage to recite her lines, and as she did, she imagined the life of King Arthur before her. She imagined the great city of Camelot. She wanted Kurt and Piotr to be proud of her. She watched them closely as she tried to be animated, looking for any reactions from them. She saw none.

But after she took her bows, Kitty slipped backstage and almost ran into Kurt. "What are you doing here?" she shouted above the applause.

"I could ask the same of you, Katzen," Kurt replied. He glanced around at the crowd, then said, "Peter and I will meet you in front, all right?"

Kitty nodded. Kurt stepped back into the shadows so that no one would see him teleport. She prayed he was being careful, and ran to the dressing room to change back into her civilian clothes. Emily met up with her. After a few exchanged congratulations on either side, Emily said, "Aren't you coming to the cast party?"

Kitty paused in the doorway. "No," she said at last. "I've got to meet up with some friends." At Emily's protest, she added, "Give Peter my apologies," and left.

"Why didn't you tell us you were in this play?" Piotr demanded as Kitty came up to him and Kurt, outside.

"We could have gotten free tickets," Kurt added, and his friends shushed him.

"I don't know," Kitty said with a shrug. "I just wanted to do something normal for once. Apart from the X-Men." Even as she said it, she realized how dumb it sounded. "You know, just take a break."

"Is this about what you and Storm and I talked about, Katya?" Peter asked. "Remember what Ororo said? Normal is relative?"

"I know," Kitty sighed. "I just really wanted to be apart and normal. Like any other kid my age. It's really hard."

Kurt grinned at her from under his wide-brimmed hat and around the high collar of his jacket. "You don't have to tell me about hard, Kitty," he said.

"You should not be ashamed of who or what you are," Peter said, looking a little worried.

"I'm not," Kitty protested. "I just started thinking recently that it's because of what I am that I can't have a normal life." They looked blank, so she added, "You know, college? Parties? No parents? Just living on your own with no one to take care of you?"

"So that's what this is about."

"You want to be like everyone else?" Kurt asked. "You want to be free of us? Because you know that you are not required to stay."

"I know. I love the X-Men. You guys are my closest friends. You're my family. But I wanted to do something really normal...just for a day or so," Kitty told them. "It ended up to be three weeks accidentally. Being in a play just sounded fun. And there were a lot of kids signing up. I made a few friends that I'll probably never see again," she said brightly.

"Good for you," Kurt said cheerfully.

But Peter still looked worried. "Do you still feel that way?" he asked.

Kitty thought about the night when she had stood in front of the mirror and told herself the story of her life. Then she said, "If I stay with the X-Men, I'll never get to do all the things a regular girl my age gets to do. It's either save the world from evil mutants or party." She shrugged. "I've seen some of the stuff we've gone up against. I'd choose saving the world any day."

Peter grinned, obviously relieved.

"I wouldn't trade my life for anything," Kitty told them. "Even the bad parts."

In between her two closest friends in the world, arms around each other, they all started down the street. "Come on, Katzen," Kurt said with a grin. "We'll give you a ride home."


End file.
